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there is a time when some small boys
long to become men.
of course, longing doesn’t bring manhood
and few even know to aspire to it
and fewer know the way
and even fewer walk the way
so to help those see which of these they are
these words are searchlights for their souls and minds
THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW
there are many boys
whose bodies grow
yet their hearts stay coddling in their mother’s arms
they have the reflection of men’s bodies
but have infantile minds
and they do as boys do - in oversize shells
dream of dreams that will never come true
and self indulge in mental tantrums
about what others have and they do not
they cry on the inside
in the misery of their own company
for man-boys don’t cry on the outside
but cry they do
about what makes them angry
why life isn’t fair
and why things are the way they are
pointing out injustice and hypocrisy
- as if it is an enlightened endeavor
and feeling foolishly clever for it
these boys will always be little children
caught in an infinite cycle of
self pity and inaction –
for they never even know there is a way to be men.
THOSE WHO CANNOT FIND THE WAY
there are other boys
who feel something inside them -
written on their soul -
a desire to evolve
into something greater than they are
it pulls at them
like a kid brother
that won’t seem to go away
but they cannot see a way
to become men easily -
like during a commercial break
for instance -
so they just start dressing like the men
they want to be
they stand awkwardly in their oversized skins
get cars and jobs
they speak in bigger words
that they rarely understand
and nod and laugh with each other
over beer
quietly praying
the others cannot see
through their layers of bravado -
the scared little boys inside
and when the fear doesn’t go away
they try to put on more layers
with designer labels –
or better yet ghetto labels – to borrow the toughness
of a street life they have never lived
and they do things they have seen on television
mimicking cool like trained dogs
and then waiting for their treats
but copying cool – doesn’t make cool
and the fear doesn’t go away
-- so they get faster cars
and try to buy more women
with things
and artificially flavored words
– which only really works on little girls.
and so these many boys in men’s bodies
imposters and clowns -
cartoons of maleness
have the desire and never find the way
until finally they sit --
boys dressed in wrinkles and grey hair
surrounded with their things
and the stories they tell themselves
and the other old boys who sit with them
all together and all alone
because the only thing they have
is the emptiness
of a life lived knowing
that they never became themselves
THE FEW WHO WALK THE WAY
then there are a few who start
where the others started -
as infants and then boys
but took the turn in the road
less traveled
towards manhood and towards light.
and what is so powerful about these few -
is that every path to where they are
leads through uncut jungle.
you cannot follow any of them all the way.
at some point you must turn your boy face towards the wild
and cut your own path.
so if you are one of these
I cannot tell you which way to go
except for which way not to go
poem by Steve Uggen
e-mail him at trinityworks@mn.rr.com | 
