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As we muster through life, living for Christ, knowing what it means to follow Him – spending time in scripture, praying, being in relationships, listening to the Holy Spirit – have you ever felt like you get in a rut sometimes, or that you aren’t able to move? Do you ever feel like you are stuck? Sort of "numb like", emotionless? In this article I am focusing on being stuck in communing with God. Not praying as much, being quiet. But also just being stuck mentally, emotionally, and not growing, just sitting in idle, like a car in neutral that just won’t move. Or standing in thick sand, neither getting free or sinking.
If you are like me, this usually happens because you are going through a painful time, a time of hurt and disappointment with life, or God. And then it is easy to become dejected. Oswald Chambers defines it so well; he calls it "spiritual dejection". He says, "Dejection stems from one of two sources – I have either satisfied a lust (a desire, lust isn’t always sexual), or I have not had it (a desire) satisfied. In either case, dejection is the result. Lust means, I must have it at once. Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God himself who is the answer. The purpose of prayer is that we get a hold of God, not the answer".
We can desire many things; we can even desire to not want to be hurting, and when it isn’t easily or quickly resolved, it brings us down. As a result, we tend to push God aside. We become so crippled by our hurt and circumstances that it’s easier to not think of anything or anyone else, just ourselves. We can’t get prayers out. We become silent with God, like the Psalmist said in Psalm 77, "I was so troubled, I couldn’t even speak."
But I bask in the verse in Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans". There have been many, many times where I’ve felt that way, but look, God gets it! He understands. That is amazing to me.
I can be going through SO much, and am SO hurt, that it’s all consuming, and I can’t even approach God. I have little ambition and no motivation to even pick up His word, or a devotional. I say quick little prayers throughout some days, but other days I am silent. I can’t get myself to open completely for an extended amount of time. And I think that is important to being intimate with God. Carving out specific amounts of time to spend just conversing. Being with God. Wide open. To me it feels like a crossroads; we can stay stuck, because of our circumstances and disappointments, or we can fight our way back mentally, and get with God. To quote Oswald again, since my devotional is ‘My Utmost for His Highest, "we need to put ourselves deliberately before God, we need to be broken bread and poured out wine before Him." We need to remain close with Him to survive.
And more often than not, what we feel isn’t what reality really is. We can’t build our life on our feelings. They will just confine us and make us miserable so much of the time. We have to believe in God’s truths 24/7, and receive them.
I wrote a poem a year or so ago called "To The Throne. . .I’ll go to find my peace." God’s peace is there, His truths are there, but we don’t go to receive them. We can stop and chose God, and recall that He is bigger than any disappointment or circumstance!
But often, we are so bound by our circumstances and what is going on around us that we don’t make the time to get with God. Our pain paralyzes us. We start to be defined by that situation, or pain. But we cannot let our circumstances, no matter how terrible, change who we are in Christ! Whatever it is we are wrapped up in, whether it’s a physical or mental sickness we battle, everyone has some hard times in their life.
I know this from experience. I’ve lived through abuse of all forms. I’ve struggled as a single mom. I’ve been through a terrifying time in my marriage. I’ve lived for 12 years with health issues. I’ve had to persevere in the middle of that, and choose God. I’ve had to shut off the noise of people and circumstances around me to move on, to only hear from the Lord.
There are many things in life that are depressing and not the way we want them to be; in our relationships, on our jobs, with our health. I’ve gone through such depressions and painful times that I’ve had to force myself to change my frame of mind, I just have to move. I need to get before God. I need to reject lies, and take that first step by getting with God.
The biggest challenge is to fight to stay before Him at all times! We seem to have a hard time staying focused on Him. When things are good, we might not be conscious that we need Him so much. And when things aren’t so good, we are desperately aware of needing Him. Either way, it can feel like it is all about us. And really, it never is. In Philippians, Paul had been beaten, put in chains and in prison, but he still knew it wasn’t about him! To Paul, it was always about God and others. He says in Philippians 4:11, "For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."
Our circumstances often make it easy to default to dwelling in everything that is so wrong. We have to fight mentally to stay afloat. We must. Satan will do whatever he can and work extra hard when he knows we are down, to try to keep us down. Alot of the time we let him win. We allow it. We have to receive God’s power and fight. When life brings good times, if life brings bad times, take them! Let whatever life brings you take you closer to God. Trust Him in those times, when it’s the most difficult to trust. He is especially smart in bringing good out of bad times. You just have to let Him in, to allow Him to use your bad times for you to grow and for Him to get the glory.
Another thing I read in my devotional that is so powerful is this: "The real test of spiritual focus is being able to bring your mind and thoughts under control. Is your mind focused on the face of an idol? Is the idol yourself? Is it your work"? We need to place ourselves before God, open ourselves up, and remember this verse from Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep them in perfect peace, whose minds are stayed on You, because they trust in You".
Everything boils down to where we are with the Lord. If we give God a chance to work in us, He will. He can revive anyone, anything. Little or big. Every day can be a revival. Get before Him. Start moving. Go now.
Voices piece by Gina Norman
contact the author at ginapsalm119@gmail.com |
